well hello there. its been 2 years. we are now in March of 2025, which sounds terrifying. Z and I live in our own apartment now and are over the moon in love still. going on 3 years and I would still die for him every day. everything I have ever been through has been worth it because I now have him.

im struggling. on many things but just struggling. money, work, social life, food, self-care, not one is going as well as I would want it to. I want a new job. I am excelling at my job, making okay money (not enough, of course), and I enjoy my fellow coworkers, but it feels like WORK. I want to make decent money, and do something that doesn’t feel like work, something I can do on my own time. I want to create. I want to write a book, make and sell pottery, paint, crochet animals for Etsy. I need to do something that uses my hands and my imagination.

I have started to read again so maybe I can write a book? I have never been a good writer. Thats part of the problem. I was looking for new jobs but I have no skills. Customer service is hard and doesn’t pay well, I hate and would suck at sales, and the only actual skills I have is baking and that doesn’t make money either. especially now a days with the cost of ingredients.

but overall, life is good. I have always had trouble being grateful for things in life.

I have a handsome boyfriend who is very kind and makes me laugh everyday. Did I mention he’s obsessed with me? we are building a life together in our little apartment with my dog and down the street from my dads house. My dog is overall healthy, we eat well, we have electric and all the streaming services. We get to try new wines every month, and we get to go to Disney almost whenever we want. I am seeing a dietician to help with my relationship with food. I am very lucky and I have worked hard for everything we have. however it is not enough.

it is never enough.