I need to vent I guess. Why aren’t I happy?

I have an amazing boyfriend who is obsessed with me and is so sweet and he makes me very happy. But I am still lonely and just kind of, here. Im not bubbly anymore or excited about anything. I don’t feel….

I changed my relationship status on FB and M texted me almost immediately saying “congrats. I’m happy for you.” He had to have stalked my FB to know this. I feel like I owe him an explanation. That this was an easy decision but also a very hard one. I didn’t do it malicious or anything like that but I feel bad because I know that stung. I miss our conversations, I miss my best friend. I want to respond and let him know that I am still not okay, that I am still reeling from all of it, and I am still working on things. I don’t know what I am doing with my life and I miss my family so much. I’m so lonely and stressed. there are so many things that I want in life or want to do but I just can’t find the will to do it. I kind of want to make a joy list, things that bring me happiness.

im not okay.