Good morning world. This is my first post, and it is going to be short because I don’t have much time before work. I started this blog for a multitude of reasons. I like to write and read. I haven’t written anything in a long time, but I used to be a religious journalist (that makes it sound like I used to write articles about religion, I used to journal about my day, everyday). I also used to read about two books a week, and now I haven’t read a book in months. My therapist wants me to focus on things that I may have forgotten about myself, like reading, writing, cooking, and I do like to exercise. So this is me trying to find myself again in this hectic world, taking time to slow down and enjoy it.

I have been feeling very numb about life for about a year, but honestly, probably years. I am not sure if its my medication or if something is wrong with me. I don’t have super low lows anymore (occasionally) but I also don’t have highs either (not as frequently as I would like).

I have met a boy though. I say “boy” and not “man” because he has opened my eyes to the joy of life again. He isn’t jaded from the world like I am. He has the view on love and life like I used to have when I was younger. He hasn’t been burned. He is six years younger than me and at first I was very reluctant about it, all the gossip and things people will say, all the differences we will have when it comes to maturity and experiences. Then I fell in love and I have learned so much about him. I now believe that his age is a massive benefit for me, because he is young, he is bringing out the passion, joy, butterflies, that I have always craved. My therapist and I talked about this today. I need to accept and understand that timing is everything. I met my ex (we will call him M) at a time when I wasn’t quite over the trauma of my past, and he instantly became that comfort zone for me. We became best friends very quickly, and I did love him, but it was never passionate or butterfly worthy.

Man, I could write for forever, but this is all I have time for today. Off to work.